I don\u2019t even know what I\u2019m supposed to put in this thing, so I asked Iskaryn, since this was <\/span>her<\/span><\/i> idea, and she answered, \u201cThe truth,\u201d whatever that is supposed to mean. As that was not a helpful response, I followed it up with, \u201cThe truth about what?\u201d and she gave me this funny look\u2013and yes, I <\/span>know<\/span><\/i> she\u2019s a bird, don\u2019t ask me how I know it\u2019s a funny look, <\/span>I just know<\/span><\/i>\u2013and she said, \u201cAbout how you feel. About your experiences.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Except she knows I don\u2019t want to talk about <\/span>any<\/span><\/i> of those things\u2013I just want to <\/span>forget <\/span><\/i>most of it\u2013so I said as much, and she just pointed out that this is how I got here. I didn\u2019t have a response to that. Then it hit me: I was being lectured about the healing power of journaling by a magical bird that can\u2019t even read or write.<\/span><\/p>\n And I must have said that out loud because she retorted, \u201cI can do both,\u201d and I just stared at her blankly, because what do you say to that? Which she took as a challenge, and proceeded to <\/span>demonstrate <\/span><\/i>it to me, promptly scratching out the Sylvan equivalent of \u201cSee? I told you so\u201d in the dirt. Which is when I realized there was no escaping this trap she has set for me. And, yes, Iskaryn, I know you are reading over my shoulder as I\u2019m writing this, <\/span>and please stop it.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n She objects to me characterizing it as a trap, and insists that this journal, or diary, or whatever I want to call it, was merely a suggestion.<\/span><\/p>\n Here\u2019s what she means by \u201csuggestion\u201d: We\u2019re at this trading post where the river\u2013yes, <\/span>that <\/span><\/i>river\u2013joins the Profit\u2019s Flow, and I\u2019m trying to buy food and water so I don\u2019t <\/span>starve <\/span><\/i>over the next few days, and because I need a change from living hand to mouth in the wild. She lands on this book with an oil-skinned cover and starts shrieking at me. I try to shoo her away, and she comes back to it and does it again. This repeats a couple more times, and the shopkeeper, who apparently sees birds do this every day because he doesn\u2019t even flinch, says, \u201cI think they want you to buy that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Which, <\/span>of course<\/span><\/i> they would say that, because it\u2019s expensive and they\u2019d love nothing more than for me to give them money. And I\u2019m looking at how many coins I have and realizing, sure, I could get this and a reed pen, or I could maybe <\/span>eat for three weeks<\/span><\/i> instead, and I try to explain this to Iskaryn\u2013let\u2019s not even go into what <\/span>that<\/span><\/i> must have looked like, me standing there, arguing with a bird who\u2019s just shrieking back at me because, I don\u2019t know<\/span>, actually talking<\/span><\/i> would draw <\/span>too much attention<\/span><\/i> somehow\u2013and she is not having any of it.<\/span><\/p>\n I must look like I\u2019m on the verge of a complete breakdown or something, because the shopkeeper takes pity on me\u2013or maybe he just wants us to leave\u2013and offers me a discounted price on it. And all I really want is for Iskaryn to <\/span>just stop<\/span><\/i>, so I agree to it, and now I\u2019m going to run out of <\/span>everything <\/span><\/i>by the time I hit Petitioner\u2019s Port. But at least I\u2019ll be able to <\/span>document it<\/span><\/i> when it happens.<\/span><\/p>\n So, yeah. \u201cSuggestion\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n I am supposed to record \u201cthe truth\u201d? Okay, fine. Here\u2019s some truth.<\/span><\/p>\n It <\/span>hurts<\/span><\/i>. It\u2019s been almost four weeks and<\/span> it hurts<\/span><\/i>. Some days it feels like it just happened. Others, it feels like a lifetime ago. But that ache is always there. They\u2019re gone, and there\u2019s this enormous hole inside of me, and I don\u2019t even know how to <\/span>begin <\/span><\/i>to fill it. <\/span>And<\/span><\/i>. <\/span>It. Hurts<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n It took me four days just to get out of the forest\u2013four long days of one step ahead of the other, with Iskaryn flitting between branches above me. Then another day, along the road to here, slipping back into the trees whenever Iskaryn spotted someone approaching, because\u2026I don\u2019t know why. I just wasn\u2019t ready to be seen yet. Or maybe I wasn\u2019t prepared to see others. The walking helped, though. It kept me from replaying events. From wallowing in sorrow. It gave me something to do.<\/span><\/p>\n It would be so easy to just\u2026give up. Go to Macridi\u2013it\u2019s not even half a day\u2019s walk from here\u2013and step back into that life. I could do it. It\u2019s so tempting to do it. Only, I\u2019m not that person anymore. She never even existed. She was just someone I made up, a role I could play based on half-truths because it didn\u2019t require any difficult choices. So even though I <\/span>could<\/span><\/i> go back there, I just can\u2019t. Someday, maybe, but not now.<\/span><\/p>\n This trading post has a shelter with small rooms that they let out to travelers. The norns didn\u2019t deign to supply me with a schedule, but the way I figure it, they can see the strings of fate, right? So they\u2019ve already seen all this, which means my time spent here is baked in. I\u2019m just going to assume that however long it takes me to get to Breachill is how much time I have, and not fret over a couple of nights in a real bed for the first time in months. It is far from luxury\u2013far from even a rundown inn\u2013but it\u2019s a bed nonetheless, and I\u2019ll take it.<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019ll worry about the rest of it\u2013how I\u2019m going to get there and, more crucially, whether I\u2019ll be recognized in Alabastrine\u2013in the morning.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Western Druma evening I don\u2019t even know what I\u2019m supposed to put in this thing, so I asked Iskaryn, since this was her idea, and she answered, \u201cThe truth,\u201d whatever that is supposed to mean. As that was not a helpful response, I followed it up with, \u201cThe truth about what?\u201d and she gave me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[87],"tags":[88],"class_list":["post-5371","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aoa-vignettes","tag-aemi"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dungeonetics.com\/gamediary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5371","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dungeonetics.com\/gamediary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dungeonetics.com\/gamediary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dungeonetics.com\/gamediary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dungeonetics.com\/gamediary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5371"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.dungeonetics.com\/gamediary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5371\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5372,"href":"https:\/\/www.dungeonetics.com\/gamediary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5371\/revisions\/5372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dungeonetics.com\/gamediary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5371"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dungeonetics.com\/gamediary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5371"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dungeonetics.com\/gamediary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5371"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}